Finding the Right Person for You

Finding the right person for you is like hitting the center
of a target in archery. To aim and hit the center takes a lot of practice. Some people may hit the center right away, but most do not. In a similar way, most people date several people before finding the right one. Some people take much longer than necessary because something is missing in their approach. By exploring this metaphor from archery, we can clearly see what may be lacking.
Imagine that you aim for the target and you miss. Your shot is too far to the left.

By simply acknowledging that you went too far to the left, your mind will automatically self-correct, and next time you will shoot more to the right. Through a series of attempts, your mind will continue to self-correct and you will eventually hit the target.

It is the same in relationships. Each time you go out and
discover that this is the wrong person for you, your mind will self-correct, and next time you will feel more attracted to someone who is closer to being the right person. To make this self-correction in the kind of person we are attracted to or find interesting, we must clearly experience how far off the mark a shot was.

If we are way off the mark, then we know to compensate a
lot. If we are closer to the mark, then we compensate much
less. In a similar way, if someone is clearly far from our type, then we need to compensate a lot, but if he or she is close, then we should compensate only a little. Correctly assessing someone is important for fine-tuning our ability to be attracted to someone who is either right for us or at least closer to the target.

If you were blindfolded and every time you got closer to the target someone misdirected you, you would probably never hit the target. To self-correct after each shot, we need to get the correct feedback. With accurate information we can make the necessary adjustments in our next trajectory. Eventually we will just aim and hit the target.